I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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