dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
They should really pass out barf bags in church
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
