maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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