I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
