Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Randomize
