That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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