Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
