He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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