He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
