6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
