u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
