She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
