jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
