Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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