U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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