Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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