i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
