but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
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I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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