I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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