so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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