It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
and she was petting her beer can
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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