will power is for people who don't want to get laid
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
