Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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