Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
