I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
