Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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