So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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