After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
