y did u give ur computer a hand job?
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
