butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
