Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
