break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
