i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
