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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong

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• (310): View more from California

  and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I don't even know what to say right now

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained

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• (408): View more from California

  I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?

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• (714): View more from California

  It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful

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