Barsexuality is the new black.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
