This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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