i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
