the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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