Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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