I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
