I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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