he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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