You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
