I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
