If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
