my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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