I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
