My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
