East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
