I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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