I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize