they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
