hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
