Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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