my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
