Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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