Already got asked if we're dating
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
did i just pee glitter
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
